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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I hit the streets early. You know, Jalan Jenderal Sudirman? Yeah, that’s where I started my morning. Grabbed some kopi, which was like liquid gold. I swear, the barista was a magician. One sip, and I was ready to conquer the world—or at least the local market.

Figure 8. Diagram of pristane/phytane (Pr/Ph) versus hopanes/steranes,...